No Pancreatic cancer!

-expanded further on Monday 27 July 2009.

No pancreatic cancer! What a relieve!

I went to do an endoscope and ultrasound of the surrounding parts of the abdomen yesterday at a local hospital and the result was that "all is clear". Thank goodness!

Goldie had a dream in which I got pancreatic cancer and she had been urging me to do tests. Since there were other problems to my stomach recently, I thought this is a good time to do some check-up.

But now that this is "over", I have another thing to worry. O-dear! It really is true what my boss said to me. He said "...sometimes when it rains, it pours!" I won't say much but keep on praying. Hope things will turn all right.

Anyway, just before I "black out" from the sedative, I recited the three great purpose prayer that starts with:

"I prostrate to the Guru and the Three Precious Gems. Please bless my mind. Please pacify all the wrong conceptions from incorrect devotion to the subtle..." I think I only managed to finish the first of the three great purposes, after which I fainted. So, those were my last thoughts. You know, it's like training my thoughts for my eventual death in the future. The last thought is very important. By the time I woke up, I heard the nurse asked me to turn and she pushed my body flat down (I was asked to lay down on my left side before I was sedated). At that time, they had already pushed me to a ward. At that time, I didnot know, of course, but found out later. Also I found out the whole procedure only took about 5 minutes. It meant I was sedated only for a short while.

There is really no reason for me to suspect myself as having cancer. But it could be other things like ulcer or "stone" found in the stomach/liver, etc (as Goldie's friend's case). I take this opportunity to remind myself and my readers that karma knows nobody. Karma has no friends. It operates whether you are Buddhist or not. You cannot bribe it away, or sweet talk to it like you do with your girlfriends/boyfriends. You cannot engage a manipulative lawyer to twist the facts and hopefully you will get away with it. Neither is it a judge that you can bribe, nor a sly politician that will help you get away with it. Karma operates no matter where or when. We cannot be ready for it because it doesnot tell us what time and day it will strike.

When karma strikes, it strikes. We can only condition our mind to be ready for any eventualities. And cope with it as it comes. So, each of us suffers our own karma. If you do anything bad, you are the one who is going to suffer. Not me. Hence I am not afraid of anyone, except myself. I am the creator of my own bad karma. Life is seriously short, don't waste it for trivial pursuit. It may just end anytime. Be ready for it with loads of positive karma, loads of refuge with the Triple Gem and faith in our Buddhist Masters.

Om Mani Padme Hum.