Friday, July 17, 2009

Dorje Khadro Fire Puja

On Friday afternoon, I did my first Dorje Khadro fire puja ngondro (preliminary practice). I completed 110 of the mantra. The experience of it was wonderful and that of being totally purified after the puja. I was actually sick, but I thought it was a good time to do it since I have just got the last substance I needed, i.e. the sandalwood incense sticks (the woody type).

I wasn't good in creating the scorpion and it looked really big and horrible. Hahahah! LOL!! I have a few pics as above and below. Next time I will need to create a little smaller scorpion and I must not forget the scorpion's claws next time. Anyway, i have learned from this one time puja. The other thing was also the fire. It burned out several times and I had to lit the fire again and again. Somehow the sandalwood incense sticks didnot produce the embers that was expected. Maybe I should use more of those firestarters the first time and then quickly put the incense sticks on top. Maybe I also need to buy the short, properly and neatly cut sandalwood incense sticks instead of the shapeless, fragmented ones.

Throughout the puja, I was distracted by the fire that kept putting out. And thus , my counting and reciting of the mantra wasn't perfect. I was sure I recited more than 110 times. But I'll keep it conservative at 110 and try to memorise the mantra next time. Then I will not need to keep on looking at the text as I hold the tray and trying to use my other hand to pick those sesame seeds. Initially I was trying to use a mala as well, but found it impractical because both my hands are already occupied. There was no place to put the sesame tray. I had to hold it. Maybe I need to think of something next time. Hmmm...

Well, the ceremony wasn't perfect but when it comes to the confession part, I was very sincere in repenting and felt reget and remorse in confessing all my broken samayas and negative actions from the infinite past till then. And I visualised strongly Dorje Khadro in front of me as I confessed and prostrated to him. I didnot quite visualised the scorpion coming out that strongly this time due to the distractions of the fire and sesame seed tray as mentioned. But I did felt the heat above my navel (it was hotter than the effect of the afternoon sun...but the heat soon vanished as soon as the scorpion came out) as I visualised the fire burning at the navel rising up and slowly chasing the syllable out. I visualised all the negativities coming out too. I remember the first time I was taught this practice by my teacher, I felt terrified as I visualised the scorpion coming out. If an actual scorpion were to actually crawl out of you, wouldn't you feel terrified too? Yes, so I feel our visualisations in tantric practise need to be as strong to that extent if it's possible. At least, we should try. Anyway, do you like my scorpion? It's all my negative karma and afflictions and broken commitments and vows, etc. All that I burnt away and now coming out feeling clean.

Overall, it's not perfectly done but I am happy since this was the first time doing it and happy with the post-effect of it. I still have a long way to go to completing the required total, but this is a satisfactory start. Thank you, Dear Guru!

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