Attachment to merits

As I reviewed how I spend my Saka Dawa days, I thought initially that I didnot do anything at all. I didnot do any extra thing on this day or earlier days. It was hard for me to recall what I had done. No extra chanting or mantras or reading sutras. But then I remember I gave some money to my auntie who had fell down. I went on that very day I heard the news. Actually a few days ago (Saturday morning), I woke up with a bad dream that either my mother or one of my aunties is nearing her death. Sometimes I am afraid of my own dreams because many times it had been a premonition of what is to come in the future. With that dream, I was going to call her or visit her anyway even if I had not received the news.

The second thing I did voluntarily was helping a colleague who had a slight paralysis to get up from her chair in the cafetaria. She asked me to hold her by the wrists and pull her up. But I was afraid I might do more damage to her than help her. So, another girl held her wrists instead, and I held her by the elbows. Together we pulled her up.

So, yes, I did perform some good actions today. And I didnot do those actions by delaying those actions just to do them on this holy day. And neither did I think of the 100 million times of extra merits to be earned. In fact, earlier I did donate to Amdo eye clinic, a FPMT eye hospital project, on a not-so-meritorious day (comparatively speaking). It doesnot matter because all the potential patients in the hospital is urgently waiting for the hospital to be completed so that they can get proper treatment. One day's delay in funds for the hospital would mean one day's delay in the treatment for those with eye problems.

Yes, doing good deeds on certain holy days multiple the merits by manifold, but please do them sincerely. There's no need to delay donating money just to do it on a certain holy day! That's obviously attachment to merits. Call this spiritual greed. Or, is it called "spiritual materialism"? When you think of earning so much merits, you lose your sincerity. It's just like someone dangling millions of dollars in front of you. If you are so attached to merits, to the extent that you need to delay till tomorrow doing something which you could have done today, just because it is a holy day and someone had told you it could generate 100 million times more merits, and you listened to him, there goes your sincerity. In the same way, you could potentially fall into a real "trap" one day, when someone dangles real money in front of you. What do I mean by "trap"? Corruption. Call this worldly greed. Whether worldly or spiritual materialism, it's the same old greed that you have.