Friday, August 18, 2023

10-day Goenka retreat – a negative experience


This is a Youtube video from "Yoga with Ekaterina" channel. You may check out her video as below link. Previously I posted a video from someone with positive experience of a SN Goenka's 10-day vipassana retreat. Now, I am posting someone with a negative experience. Her retreat was held at a meditation centre in Switzerland. It is noted that that retreat was her first time vipassana meditatin retreat, even though she already knows some other meditation methods and yoga (from her channel). These should be taken into account when considering whether any vipassana retreat will or will not be negative for you. 

Among her complaints are as follows: -

- Too cold. This is due to the meditation was during January period in Switzerland. If it happens during the spring or summer, it may not be that cold. Also, you have to consider the country in which the meditation centre is located. It it is in South-East Asia, for example, it may be hot and humid. 

- Not allowed to clean the room, except the last day. No brooms/tools supplied for cleaning. At Mahasi centre that I went, we were not specifically disallowed to clean our rooms but there are brooms and mops which you could make use of if you terribly want to clean your room. But I would suggest not to do it too often as it may disrupt your meditation schedule. However, if the meditation schedule includes "cleaning and working", then you could do so during these specific times.

- Health issues – she felt the pain and frustrations of other meditators. I do not know whether the feeling comes from her own interpretation or, was it related to her by others. During the interview sessions with the teachers, she tried to inform them of her physical pains and health issues, but was just given a unhelpful answer, i.e. “Continue practising, everything is in your mind, Your mind is trying to stop you from meditating…etc”. After the retreat, she went to a doctor to check and she was told by the doctor that her body had some health problems. And had to take antibiotics. She was unhappy that the meditation teacher totally discounted the possibility of her actually having health issues. Apparently, other meditators also had the same issue with the teachers with regard their health. My thoughts are that if you know of yourself having any specific health problems, you should have taken the medication along with you to the retreat. Or, if you really fall sick, you should report to the admin office, and not the meditation teacher. Tell the admin office that you are sick and need to see a doctor. On the other hand, if it is not fever, or some other serious sicknesses, then you may want to just bear it for the rest of the retreat. Or, you can quit the retreat and go home. The meditation teacher is not a doctor who can treat you. He/she would not know your health status, unless he/she has some attainments. 

Let me share with you my experience. I find that I usually cough during a sitting session. It is quite disturbing to me. My throat will tickle somehow during the breathing and then my cough will start thereafter. Somehow I thought that my abdomen has something to do with causing my throat to tickle. Somehow I could not stop the itchiness, unless my breathing becomes subtle, or I shift my focus to the nostrils (which is not ideal since I am doing the Mahasi method). Then a thought occurred to me that perhaps there really IS something in my throat that starts to itch when there is movement there, except during eating. During my interview session with Sayadaw, I decided to inform him that after the retreat I would need to see a doctor and have my throat examined or scanned. He said confidently there is nothing wrong with my throat and not necessary to see any ENT doctor. He advised for me to note the itching when it arises and watch it until it disappears. So far I found that to be futile. If it starts getting itchy before I watch it, then it will be too late. It will indivertibly proceed to a coughing fit. As I practice further, I found that it is far better to prevent my throat from getting itchy. In my last 2 sitting meditation sessions, no itchiness in the throat had arisen and I could meditate without coughing. If I had gone to see a ENT specialist, I am almost certain that the doctor will somehow say there is something wrong, even if i is just a minor issue/unrelated. Why do I say this? Well, they want to earn more money. They wil ask me to go for numerous testing procedures and scanning. It could even be inconclusive and ask me to come back in another 6 months time. Anyway, I do believe the Saydaw that I do not have any throat problems. It's just how I do my abdomen breathing that is causing the throat to itch. So, this is my story to share. 

- Only Goenka method. Also, she was stopped from using her hand mudra, or mala (chanting beads). She was also familiar with other meditation methods, such as Hindu Yoga, and others. This requirement is not uncommon in other meditation centres too (inclusive of non-Goenka centres). It is not unusual because the centre teaches you a specific technique or method and do not want you to mix it with other methods so long as you are in that centre. If you are at home, you can do whatever you want. But if you sign up for a meditation course, you need to comply with the system or method in which you have signed up for. You should not incorporate other methods together with the method you are there for. For example, if you start doing yoga postures before, during or after the sitting meditation, doesn't it look awkward? And it will be awkward too if you start fingering your mala (chanting bead) in the meditation hall. It is not just awkward, but the teacher will not be able to advise you properly in your practice. If you are mixing one teacher's method with another teacher's method, how do you expect the teacher of method in which you are attending the retreat to guide you. That is why, if you are attending method no.1's retreat, only do method no.1. This is also in order for you to really grasp fully in that particular technique or method. If you are still new to that method, you would want to concentrate on learning that method alone during the retreat. In future, you could sign up for another method retreat. And then you decide which method you want to follow. But it is not right to prematurely learn half and then incorporate other techniques, unless you really know meditation very well. She also said in that video that she was advised by the teachers there to practice one hour in the morning and another hour at night. Well, this advice is very common even in non-Goenka centres. The intention is only to enable you to continue the practice on daily basis after the retreat. Of course, whether you do it or not, it is up to you. 

- Categorical and imposing – She was asked by the teachers whether she teach meditation and she answered that she tried to incorporate the meditation technique into what she was teaching. After she said that, and the teachers thought that she had believed in the Goenka method (which she obviously had some negative perceptions with), she was told that she can only practice this method and only teach this method. “You are to abolish other methods” and other such comments. She interpreted the teacher as saying that other methods are wrong and only Goenka method is correct. But actually I felt that the teacher was not saying that. I felt that the meditation teacher was only asking her to choose practising the Goenka method. Well then, the choice is actually up to her. But as long as she is at that 10-day retreat  in a Goenka centre, she should fully concentrate on that method alone. I know that sometimes, people are confused over the techniques of different teachers. People think that all meditation techniques or methods are the same. In actual fact, they are not. Unless you know very well the differences between one method and another method, you cannot assume it is okay to incorporate the advice or technique of one teacher into the teachnique of another teacher. It is for this reason that it is inappropriate to ask the Goenka teachers on rising and falling of the abdomen, for example. And inappropriate to ask a Mahasi teacher questions on Koan (Zen technique) for example, although he will certainly know about breathing techniques. I can tell you that the Sayadaw will not answer questions on Samatha methods (e.g. concentration on a flame) during a vipassana retreat. He just wants you to concentrate on what he is teaching you at that time. And the meditators should be focusing on what he is teaching. That is not the correct time to ask him on other techniques. 

- Too much indirect soliciting for more donations despite being “free” Apparently Goen Vipassana meditation centres do not charge the participants any fees but you are reminded to donate several times. This is what she said in her video. And not just reminding, but apparently what the speaker did was very much like corporate marketing. In the Mahasi centre I attended, we are charged a certain fixed fee per day for food. That's all. Any additional amount is up to individuals and will be regarded as donations. There was no speaker announcements, not any direct or indirect "marketing" for the participants to donate more. No such thing. But she was only relating her experience at one particular Goenka centre. Perhaps it is different at others. You are advised to check further. I feel this is not really a big issue. If you cannot or don't want to donate more, just stick with it and ignore any effort to ask you to donate more. No need to create additional "sweat" from this. 

This is all I want to share. If you wish to read more, there is this previous post https://buddha-and-me.blogspot.com/2021/12/happy-annica-dukkha-anatta.html

Since the time I posted this in Dec 2021, I have learned a lot more as far as meditation is concerned. My sincere hope that you will progress too in your journey. 

#Goenkaji    #meditation #vipassana #Mahasi 

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