Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Self-evaluation and Inner Transformation

There are so many different views on conventional and ultimate realities among the masters themselves, each claiming to be the right view. In one article by Jackson Peterson (I think), he was critical of Gampopa. This is just one example of the vast divergent views of what is the ultimate reality. So, if great masters cannot even agree, how can “idiots” ….like me…. possibly stand a chance. If you need to study indepth on such topics, it must be because of a higher motivation. Example, by understanding conventional and ultimate reality or by having a better understanding of emptiness, if it can improve our meditation (especially the meditation on yidam) than we have a correct motivation to study and debate on such topics. But if we do that to boost our own ego and merely to prove others wrong, then we fall into a spiritual trap ourselves.   

If you need to point out someone is wrong, do it diplomatically. Don’t use harsh words on others, and never assume anyone is unenlightened. As tantric practitioners, we are supposed to regard others as Buddhas. But yet in our everyday actions, we do the opposite, right or not?  The moment someone honk us on the road, we look who this idiot person is and show our middle finger. Or we honk back. The moment someone parks or his tree grows a little bit into our space, we feel terribly uneasy and want to puncture the tyres or chop down the tree. I think sometime ago in Klang valley there were 2 neighbours who argued over things like that and one of them ended up being killed by the other. So, it is so sad that people become murderers over small petty things. If we don’t control ourselves and how we react to circumstances and/or comments, we will be in deep trouble one day.

There are many examples that happens everyday. And yet we happily put these aside and go on to attend our dharma teaching and put on our best behaviour when meeting with our gurus or when we are at the temples. We become instant angels. There is no inner transformation the moment we step beyond the Buddhist walls. I write this mainly to remind myself. But I would like to share my thoughts with you.
Note that I use the word “we”. It means I am not pointing fingers. I evaluate myself. You evaluate yourself. Evaluating ourselves does not mean we cannot see what’s happening around us, and asking back to ourselves what is proper behaviour and what is not. Self-evaluation on whether we have had any inner transformation is a key spiritual risk management tool and I am categorizing this blog under that label.

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