Monday, November 30, 2009

Old Age, Sickness and Death

Today when I woke up in the morning, I had a very strong feeling of something. Every knows that old age, sickness and death is something that cannot be avoided. It is the central theme of the Buddhist teachings. That 'something' that I felt is old age, sickness and death. It was not just superficial or intellectual. I felt it in my skin and bones that we are all so very vulnerable to these three 'demons'. We are all powerless to them. So that was the feeling I had, i.e. I felt most vulnerable. It was a 'terrifying' feeling.

The only way out was to take refuge in the Triple Jewels, i.e. our true Protectors. I assume this was the same feeling Prince Siddhartha had when he saw the 4 signs, and left the palace in search of an answer to this powerful vulnerable feeling he had. He found the answer and shared it with us. How wonderful! We need not re-invent the sheel, so to speak, and re-look for it somewhere else. Could this be a Lam Rim realisation as Pabongkha Rinpoche described it albeit a small one? Khenchen Rinpoche have said that our dharma understandings must be felt, not just intellectual understanding. I am happy if it was a sign of spiritual progress even if it was fleeting. I am not sure yet. Hopefully I take this message from the Protectors to heart that I must practise as taught by them. But I also realise perhaps this 'feeling' came about as a result of practising Guru Yoga meditation. Guru Yoga is truely remarkable if that is the case. And I have to thank Rinpoche for that wonderful meditation. At last, I have found my meditation!

But I am disappointed with my wife who are still worrying over small mundane matters and cannot 'let go'. On the surface of it, she does seem innocent to many people, but looks can be deceiving. Ultimately there is only so much I can do to help people. If they do not want to be helped or stubborn, then even Buddhas and Bodhisattvas cannot do anything. So they will continue round and round in samsara forever and ever. If people do not wake up to their senses and start practising the dharma and attain complete enlightenment, then problems will forever beset them. If they continue to be blind-sided by short-term problems and issues, and cannot learn to let go, then I really do not know what else to do. I am not yet a Buddha, ...I can only help as a sentient being in limited ways. Anyway, I'll stop here.

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