Monday, July 27, 2009

5 days after first Dorje Khadro ngondro

I think it is best to post this as a separate post, rather than combine it with the previous one. Referring to my "clean diagnosis" in my previous blogpost, I was also suspicious that perhaps whatever bad things that could have came out from my diagnosis was "purified" last Wednesday (22 July 2009, the day of the esclipse of the sun when karma are magnified many times - good or bad). Something did happen 5 days after I did my first Dorje Khadro fire puja.

On that morning, a colleague told me the esclipse was over the previous night (Tuesday). So I was not worried and thought that I had missed the esclipse. Blissfully unaware that my colleague had misinformed me (what he thought was over actually happened in other parts of the world, but not over here) and that the ecslipse was to happen from 8.30am to 10am local time. So I was having my breakfast out in the open, exposed to the sun. It was hazy, due to the haze happening recently. So the sun didnot really look that clear anyway. After my breakfast, when I went back to my office and looke at the online news, I got a shock that the ecslipse of the sun was not over yet and the locals were adviced to stay indoors from 8.30 am (or was it 8am?) and not get yourself exposed to the sun. The fengshui consultant said 6 minutes of exposuire could translate to 6 months of bad luck. So this things are not only mentioned by Tibetan Buddhists, seems like Hindus and Taoists, and others also believed in the magnifying effect of ecslipses.

Anyway, what happened after that was even more shocking. I noticed that my left thumb had a black dot that gradually became larger. At first I thought it was a mole. But then I realised it cannot be because it wasn't there yesterday and anyway, it looked like there were liquid inside. Usually it is white or yellow in colour (colour of pus) but this is black. It grew to the size of a sesame seed and it is black too. I felt like there was a sesame seed under my skin. It was painless but when pressed, I could feel slight discomfort (because it was pressing against my flesh underneath it). I did not know whther to cut it off or see a doctor.I asked a few friends what they thought it was. One friend said it was mole. Another said perhaps I had a small cut and a splinter went inside and there was internal bleeding. I said I cannot remember getting any cuts. I would have been aware of it. This happened 5 days after I performed the Dorje Khadro puja.

Later I went to a pharmacy to get some oitment or something for that "growth" on my thumb. There was a pharmicist there and I thought they would know what it was. He concurred with one of my friends and said it was internal bleeding. He advised me to get a pin, sterilise it and prick on the "growth" to let the "liquid" flow out. Strangely it was not like pus, where the yellowish/white pus flows out when squeezed. This was really blood, but dark in colour. It was red blood; not the bright red as usually the colour of fresh blood.When I squeezed it out, all the dark, probably "poisonous" blood flowed out.

My scar is still on my thumb, so if you want to see it, you can. It let me think that the "scorpion" did came out of my body, i.e. in the form of the dark blood that gathered suddenly on my thumb on the day the karma is magnified. Whether it was due to the Dorje Khadro puja or not, I won't be able to know for sure. Regardless, I am thankful that whatever "bad blood" had came out of my body. I just wonder if there are anymore of it inside.

I just completed doing my second session of Dorje Khadro today; another 110 mantras. What else will come out of my body? An actual scorpion? That will be frightening. I just keep my fingers crossed.

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